Brain of Jay

Decisons, Decisions…


This was my life altering decision:

In 2001, after repeating senior year, I finally graduated high school. While I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do, I knew that several more years of schooling wasn’t my  priority. However, my parents forced me to attend community college. My father proudly drove me to fill out the application, as he believed this was the beginning of a bright future for me. I sluggishly sharpened my No. 2 pencil and slowly began to fill the circle next to “Asian.” Minutes later, after completing the application with absolute disgust, fear, and anxiety, I begrudgingly slid it under the plexiglass window towards the female attendant who seemingly hated her job. She then proceeded to muffle through the intercom “That’ll be fifty-five dollars. Cash, check, or credit?” She snapped her bubble gum multiple times. I slowly handed her my check filled out in the blood from my fingertips and watched her take my soul with nine-inch nails that were more decorated than a Christmas tree.

A month later, I received a notification letter with the return address “666 Lucifer Blvd.” My final payment with the devil was scheduled on Monday November 4th at 8:30 a.m., the date of my placement exam. With overwhelming joy and a smile stretching ear to ear, my mother proudly took the letter and hung it on the refrigerator for all to see. To celebrate this proud “decision” of my attending college, my parents promised me (in their best Bob Barker voice) a BRAND NEW CAR! That fateful Monday morning, November 4th, finally arrived. I tensely walked into the classroom with eyes wider than a porcelain doll and looked at the “teacher” tasked with officiating the test. At 8:30 a.m. sharp I began filling out the top portion of the test. My body was in complete discomfort and my nerves trembled enough to sound off the car alarms in the parking lot.

Just after writing in my name, I stared at the drop ceiling and found myself enveloped in a daydream about what life would be like if I went through this experience. I saw myself constantly taking tests, studying pointless information, and sharing unoriginal ideas with other students. All I could visualize was a life that was being created, controlled, and manipulated by someone else. I snapped out of this Freddy Krueger-esque nightmare only to realize I was sweating and panting like a fat kid in gym class.

I immediately stood up, authoritatively stomped to the front of the room and handed in my test to the Bride of Chucky (the teacher). She immediately asked me, “Are you sure you are finished?” I confidently responded, “Yes. I am sure.” As this woman stared at the blank test sheets in front of her, she peered back at me and replied, “You know this is your future, right?” With a confident smile (and a giggle) I responded, “Naaahh, this is your future!” I pointed my finger around the classroom and at her face. The entire classroom erupted in laughter, cheered, and applauded as I exited the room (at least that is how I remember it.)

Monday, November 4th at 8:33 a.m. I made the intuitive, fearless, confident, and positive decision that changed my life for the better and forever. I chose to create my own dreams. So what is your dream? What is holding you back from living an extraordinary life? What is keeping that amazing person locked inside? What is it after all, that you really want?

About Jay Isip

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